Well, not all bliss because it’s a super-rare case where a CFer has 4 years of no issues, and we’ve had more than our fair share of events in our 8 years together and 4 years with our wagons hitched in total solidarity. However, I’d be a fool to not acknowledge that they have by far been my best 4 years of my life.
Beautiful has made her anniversary post about all of her memories of our Great Day – October 21, 2006 – on her blog, but I wanted to concentrate on my most emotional memory, which was the sum total of all of my excitement, fear, joy, and anxiety all rolled into about 20 minutes.
My best man slept over with me the night before to help me get everything ready for the day. We ran to the florist next door and got flowers to surprise her with when we walked in late that evening because we were headed on our honeymoon after lunch the next day and then headed to our church.
My big memory was while we were in the kitchen getting dressed in our tuxes, her mom walked in (after making sure we were all decent) for some reason. I have no recollection at all about why she was there with all of the dudes, but I remember asking if Beautiful was beautiful in her wedding dress and ready to do this. “She is very beautiful correction: She’s drop-dead gorgeous,” she said. Crap, I’m tearing up typing this. Big memory, eh?
A moment later, our pastor of the last 12 years of my life, since I was 16 and since she was 16 when they moved to Florida, wanted to run over the vows with me. I guess he’s had grooms have issues with saying their vows, and it’s a good thing he did.
I couldn’t say them.
I would literally choke up to the point that my throat closed and I made a sour face and couldn’t say anything. I popped a Xanax, and another, and another until I could say them. It sounds like a terrible thing to medicate for your vows, but I was overcome with all of the emotions of the moment and didn’t want to let everyone down because I was emotional…
because I wanted to marry Beautiful so badly.
Why did she want to marry me? What did I really have to offer her that such a hot, smart, college graduate couldn’t go out and get on her own? Could I really provide for us? What if I get sick in 5 months – would she regret this day? Why is she marrying me? Me! She has the pick of the world, yet she said “yes” to me! That was why I had to relax. Relax I did, and had the greatest day of my life after that.
She said, “yes.”
Then she said, “I do.”
Happy anniversary, Babe! I love you more today than any day before today and will love you more tomorrow than I do today.