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Fatboy’s Top 10 List of Surgery Fun

DruggedBeing my 10th surgery that I remember (my surgeries at birth are obviously pre-memory), I have a decent amount of experience to draw from for looking for the silver lining related to surgery. Sure others have more experience in the surgery department, but this is definitely my personal top 10 fave things based on my experience:

  1. Pigging out until midnight has long been a favorite pre-op ritual for as long as I can remember. Who wouldn’t want to stay up late eating steak, rice, and lots of drinks before being starved half to death the next day?
  2. Now that I have a port, I am allowed to both be pleased to out-smart the staff by coming in pre-accessed and annoyed when telling them to walk away from me with either the IV kit or port kit, with the former being a bigger sin since my port is in my pre-op paperwork.
  3. Getting to be cared for the top-notch staff in a hospital is a nice treat. The people in the surgery center are the best, probably only bested by transplant teams. I simply love getting the best care available, even if only for a couple of hours.
  4. Ever since my first sinus surgery, I’ve remembered the operating room being cold and getting a hot blanket straight out of the dryer, or seemingly, an oven. That sure makes you feel cozy no matter how stressed before.
  5. This one is new, but thanks to technology, I loved doing Facebook and Twitter action before and after. Having all of one’s friends (local and Internet-based) watching over your progress and cheering you on really helps pass the time and lift the spirits.
  6. Morphine. Need I say more?
  7. Getting to sit on my butt for 2-4 days afterward and be afforded some extra level of “let me do that for you” is really nice. It’s 100 times harder for me than it used to be now that I’m a (read the) provider [role] for our family, but I’ll be able to fully stick to that plan to recover fast because I won’t feel like I have to work to put food on the table this time. Quite a blessing to be cared for such a beautiful and caring Beautiful.
  8. That shot of Ativan in pre-op right before they wheel you into the OR is fantastic (see photo above for visual proof)! If I were to consciously choose to be a druggie, I’d do Ativan. Of course, I wouldn’t do any work, we’d run out of money, we’d lose our house and my health insurance and I’d die within a few months, but I’d die relaxed, eh? Okay, bad idea, but that’s some really good stuff.
  9. Waking up a split second after closing my eyes in the OR is the freakiest thing in the world, and I love it! I could definitely do without the traditional question of asking the nurses for the license plate number of the semi truck that hit me in the face, but you can’t beat that wild trip doing anything legally.
  10. Waking up and seeing Beautiful come to my bedside in recovery (before we were even dating once) each of the last 3 times is something I always remember and will always look forward to. What a woman!

Tomorrow, given the time and boredom not granted while being constantly tended to or asked questions or told what to expect or spending quality time with Beautiful, I’ll be writing another post from the bowels of TGH before my purported 10am surgery. Maybe it’s not so realistic to expect one from me, but maybe something will pop up on Kristinology during surgery or post-op, so be sure to check there if nothing is happening here. We will likely be requesting to stay the night due to my bleeding and motion sensitivity that I experienced in October.


  1. I’ll never forget your Ativan comment several years ago. There’s no way to properly write your tone, but the closest I can come to it is, “Ohhh. That’s goood,” as you sank bank down onto the gurney and they wheeled you out the door. It still makes me chuckle when I think about it.

    We’ll be praying for you – both of you.

  2. Fabulous to see you going in yet again with high spirits. We will be thinking of you!