Relationships

Grandpa sharpening 2011We’ve got one more full day left here with Grandpa and Grandma before we head back home. It’s been a pretty emotional trip again. Last time I was so much a caregiver, I was “a bit off” in shock of that. This time I’ve been able to be more the grandson, but I still can’t get used to seeing Grandpa like this, but that’s how life goes – I’m just not used to dealing with it. Hospice came when we were in Niagara Falls and got him oxygen to help him breathe better. That’s hitting pretty close to home for me. It was almost too much.

We went to my uncle’s for an early Thanksgiving dinner last night and that was almost too much for him. Today’s been a day of relaxing and napping to recover. I’m not used to not being the sickest person in the house – I guess that’s a lot of what I’m dealing with. People accept things that happen over time better than quickly – this all seems to be moving too quickly for me. This isn’t how I want to remember Grandpa, so this post is a tribute to the man I’ve known my whole life. A rock. A pillow. A scrubbing pad face in the evening. ;-)

The business owner

Grandpa, better known as Ivan Sipes to the rest of the world, was born in 1930 across the field and country road from where I sit now. They bought this farm in the 1950s and raised 4 kids. He bought and owned Bolinger Implement Company with his best friend LeRoy Miller, Jr. and successfully sold John Deere machinery and supplies for many a year from 1957-1975. He was such a successful businessman, when we go to the county fair with them, the sons and grandsons of his customers know him by face and name and stop to chat. I used to be annoyed by that as a kid, but as a business owner myself, I can only hope I care enough about my clients that their descendants have such fond memories of how I take care of my customers.

The employee

He was still a ways away from retirement when they sold the store, so he went to work for a local feed mill, Liberty Mill. I remember going there many times, also. Folks would stop in just to talk to Grandpa; talk about the weather, the crops, and their families… “oh, and I’ll take 40lbs of this seed while I’m here.” I’m sure that many local farmers drove further than they had to just to be served by him.

The father and husband

I’ve heard him say he wishes he was around more when the kids were growing up, but it’s not like he traveled and left everyone to fend for themselves. I’m sure it’s not any different than how I feel I’m at the computer too much and too busy working to take a half-day with a good friend who needs to talk. That’s going to change. He did fine by my book, too. Each is responsible for their kids and regards him as highly as I’ve ever seen in a family. He and Grandma celebrated 60 years of marriage last summer and we ALL came to pay respect for such an achievement. Quite a clan and quite a gathering of the community that came from far and wide to the open house at church. So much to learn about marriage from them – just by observing – you don’t even need to ask questions.

The grandpa

I don’t know why, but I started to be an adult and respect Grandpa’s wisdom a few years before my parents’ wisdom. After graduation, I flew up at least every year for a holiday and loved coming for 4th of July, the county fair at Labor Day, Thanksgiving, and Easter. They’ve always been more than generous and overlooking my faults when I showed my immaturity. In 32 years, I’ve never heard him say anything bad about anyone past letting me know he doesn’t much care for someone’s actions or demeanor. How many people can you say that about?

Here are some other photos I love.

Google PlusMany of us have found each other through social networks, usually our blogs’ blogrolls in the sidebars. But many of us are also carrying on daily conversations on the major social networks.

I wanted to put together a place where we can post our social network IDs or URLs. Mine are and have been in the sidebar and header, but here they are in easy format.

http://twitter.com/cffatboy


https://www.facebook.com/cffatboy (yes, always use https!)
https://plus.google.com/114766171607995059456 (Google +)

Please leave your information in the comments so others can follow you and we can all have big parties.

Google +

The newest social network is Google +. It just opened up its doors by invitation last Tuesday, and I got in on Friday. Rather than creating lists and groups that you try to keep track of what permissions they all have (like on Facebook) or broadcasting to everyone without any group control at all (like Twitter), Google + has the best of both worlds: circles.

You create circles of people, such as family, friends, acquaintances, people you think sat behind you in class, etc. Then, each time you post something, you have the option of which circles to broadcast to, or “public” or “extended circles” of your circles’ circles. Pretty neat feature.

You can also edit both posts and comments later AND easily mute a conversation that you comment on and it just never ends. I’ve got a Chrome plugin so I even turned off all e-mail notifications.

My one gripe is that the stream shows all of your circles, but I have some very noisy friends. The work-around is to create a circle of those you want to see their posts (call it “stream” if you want to be really wild and crazy) and put most of your people in that circle, but leave out the noisy ones. You’re still following them and can see them by going to their circle, but your daily stream isn’t taken over by their “junk.”

If you need an invite to Google +, DM me your Gmail address in Twitter after I follow you back.

Engagement - 2006

Engagement - 2006

I asked Beautiful to marry me. I was 27 and she was 22. She had just graduated with her 4-year degree at the beginning of May, and I’d been planning the day for months and months. I’d known where and the general idea of when for more than a year.

The night before, I’d called to ask her dad for his blessing and called again just to be sure that he knew that “Tomorrow I will be asking her to marry me… and you’re cool with that?” “Yes,” came the reply. She called me for our good night call when she got home and I was so afraid I’d give it up over the phone that I cut the call short.

We have a favorite beach, and had for the 4 years we dated. It’s called Howard Park over in Tarpon Springs. It’s a man-made island with a causeway out to a parking lot with the beach all around it. We’d probably been there 40-50 times over the years because parking is free and there are groups of palm trees to sit under, which is perfect for two people as white as us!

We got sandwiches on the way there, just like normal. Sat under the trees, just like normal.

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ShotIt’s been a few months now, and Beautiful has taken over giving me my testosterone injections for me since it’s so much more tolerable in my butt than in my thigh. I highly recommend it for anyone who has someone around to do simple maintenance stuff like this, but I don’t recommend pissing them off right before it’s time for your dose. ;-)

Our first intro to doing it was when we went to clinic and asked Sue if a nurse could show Beautiful how to find a good placement. If I had known it was this simple, we might not have bothered. Here’s how it went: “Grab his butt [grabbed as much of a handful as she could] and shoot him anywhere.” “Does it matter where in what you grab?” “Nope, butt is butt. Anywhere is good. He obviously doesn’t have a lot of depth to work with [thanks], so aim for the thickest part.”

I was cracking up having my shorts halfway down one side with a nurse with gloves feeling me up holding on to a chunk of my butt for 15 seconds while Beautiful watched as the nurse then shoved a 1.5″ needle in to the hilt. Yes, I was still smiling, because nurse shots almost never hurt and it was funny to see Beautiful’s reaction to such a violent stab.

For reals

So, the next week, it was time for her audition. She did good, but suffice it to say that she needed to work out how to hold the syringe to be able to draw back to check for blood and still squeeze it in, too. After that got figured out the next week, it has mainly been getting over the fear of hurting me. Truth is, it only hurts if 1) it hits a nerve or 2) you don’t thrust hard enough to break the skin. You can’t do anything about hitting a nerve, but not breaking through the skin is my only hesitation now.

She hasn’t failed on the stab for about a month now, so that fear is mostly gone. It does take some getting used to having a non-nurse do something with a needle that long, but maybe a nice uniform would help some people. Hey, it could be fun!

She does a REALLY great job for someone so new to all of this medical stuff. She sort of knew what she was getting into when she said “yes,” but I’m sure you can’t ever really know what it’s like to live with a CFer and deal with things that we deal with.

Imagine all that she’s done for me in the last 5 years:

I know that not everyone’s family can step up to do things like she has, but I highly recommend it if they are willing to try. It’s so much better to be loved on with medical care by family than calling in a home health person and dealing with all of that paperwork and bringing someone else into your life. I’ve got to give kudos for Ronnie giving Mandi all those shots (NSFW) in the rear a few months ago… and videoing it from 2 angles for our amusement. Go check it out if you haven’t seen it.