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I Don’t Recommend This Weight-Gain Tip

Doritos and Boost PlusI’ve been on a binge recently. A bad binge. Lots of saturated fat and food coloring.

Yes, I’ve been eating more than my fair share of Doritos and Cheetos. On several occasions I’ve eaten an entire family-size bag in one day, though I have paid the price in upset intestines for the following 24-36 hours each time.

Slowly, but much quicker than is natural, I have formed what can be described as nothing other than a small beer belly. Every single shirt is now stretched around my mid-section and I’ve finally discovered my long-time favorite tailored dress shirt was about to bust a button when I did it up. I was simultaneously upset that it no longer fit and elated that I could officially no longer be considered to be “skinny as a rail” by any stretch of the imagination.

Ever since we started fostering, I’ve struggled with my weight. I’ve been up and down 5lbs or so from 113 since April and just couldn’t seem to break 120 again. Well, now I’m running a consistent 124-125 in the morning.

I’ve been having 1/4 to 1/2 a bag while I work during the day and then I’ll grab a Boost Plus, yogurt, Gatorade/tea, and finish off the bag at night after treatments… pretty much when all of my physical labor for the day is done, so it just goes straight to use becoming a permanent resident of my body instead of being used up.


I actually wrote that in August and never got around to publishing it. I’ve kept it up, though, and both my weight and midsection are proof enough of that.

We also recently got back into buying blocks of cheese, so I’ve been having 3-6,8,10 slices of New York extra sharp and pepperjack cheese every day. It took a while for my body to get used to it, but I’m in a good enzymes to food ratio that is keeping me feeling more well than not.

I’ve been forgetting to drink my Boost Plus in the past two weeks, but I think it’s my subconscious being mad that when they changed the bottle dimensions, they added a foil pain in the butt under the cap that I now have to find a place to set when I grab a bottle.

Maybe I’ll have dinner, chips, cheese, and Boost tonight!

What are you doing for weight gain recently? How long did it take to get results?

Fatboy Business Minute: Believe


It’s time to update everyone on the biggest part of my life: our business. Things have been hopping ever since I spent some time with my mentor and coach in December. He flew down to speak at a local conference, so I picked him up at the airport and spent the better part of the day with him. We agreed on a trade: he equips me with tools and knowledge that boosts the business and I outfit him with a new website design that rocks his world and brings in more e-mail subscribers than his current rate.

So far, so good. December was something ridiculous – like $40 off our monthly record (set in June 2011) – and January was good, followed by our best February ever. Best by a wide margin. Why?

I believed it would be good.

No, this isn’t some new age crap that you get off late night infomercials. I’m talking about real, tangible goodness that happens when you believe. You see, believing isn’t about positive thoughts.

True belief implies action.

If you don’t believe something, it won’t have an impact on your actions. If you don’t believe you’ll get a promotion, job, raise, good doctor’s report, you won’t act like you will. Things start to slide. You’ll come in late, slack off, give an attitude. I know! I’ve been there. I’ve done that. You think you’ll go on IVs, so it’s okay to skip some meds or not do everything you can – be it resting or exercising – to kick the bug. I’ve got that t-shirt as well.

February 2009, we did well only because it was our first month and I had people lined up to work with. February 2010, we didn’t even make enough to pay the mortgage, let alone everything else. February 2011 wasn’t much better; just enough to pay the mortgage. I had some sort of February curse. All we could think of was post Christmas bills and people saving up for taxes – people who pay for my services generally owe a lot of taxes.

I told the entire previous paragraph to my coach over  a coffee and a hot chocolate. I started to crack a smile halfway through and capped my sob story off with a laugh. “Don’t think like that! You can’t let the past dictate your future!”

Read that again. “Don’t think like that! You can’t let the past dictate your future!”

I had been planning for months for February like some international freeze on my reputation and projects was going to go into effect on February 1st. We’d trained ourselves to squirrel away funds from as many of the previous months as possible to ward off yet another bad February. Knowing February was coming had me feeling guilty over spending $8 on some food at an industry meetup because I was taking a square meal off our table when the famine hit.

“Don’t think like that! You can’t let the past dictate your future!”

I set it in my mind that we were going to have a good month, but it was still going to take some work. There had to be some plan in place to generate interest that wasn’t there in past Februaries and a plan to land enough work to avoid digging into our reserves. We did that, and people came. It was just like in Field of Dreams: we built it and they came.

What are you not believing in that you deserve? What will it take for you to believe it will come to fruition?

Preliminary Update on Post-Clinic Changes

ChangeIt may be a bit early to tell how things are or are not better after some med changes after clinic, but we couldn’t be more optimistic thus far. To recap the clinic visit, we have changed (for 6 doses) Albuterol to a Duo-Neb Atrovent/Albuterol mixture, added a liver med (Urso), and an appetite stimulant (Remeron).

I started the Urso (ursodiol) on Friday night, taking it twice a day with meals. Not surprisingly, I have absolutely nothing to report about it, as it was intended to straighten out my liver enzymes. I should remember to mention to Sue, since I only think it odd at the moment and quickly forget to ask about it, my standing output (I’m a guy, think about it) has been what I’d call cloudy. I just figured it was all of the raw veggies that come across my placemat at different meals, but I really should ask. Hold on a sec, lemme write an e-mail.

Still with me? Good. E-mail sent. I’ll let you know what she says.

The Remeron (mertazapine) appears to have positive results in the side-effects department. Unfortunately I don’t seem to have a sunny disposition yet, but my appetite sure was up today AND I gained a whopping 1.5 pounds. Well, make that 2.5 pounds when you factor in that a donated a pint of blood this morning. After I donated, I ate a Rice Crispy Treat, munched on Combos, drank a Capri Sun and a Boost Plus, and then dove into a Double-Stuf Oreo Cakester after all of that. I was hungry for lunch and dinner and could still wander over to the pantry when I’m done with my treatments. We’ll see if it keeps up, but it does look might promising, especially given the state of my appetite for the last couple of months.

Now for the cool breathing news! The Atrovent/Albuterol mixture seems to be working out might fine. My baseline measure for how good a treatment is remains a solid test for our daily routine. After dinner, Beautiful really likes to sit and talk for what I consider “quite a while.” I may not think it is such a long time if I could breathe worth a dime after dinner. Most days our conversation ends with me literally gasping, taking my plate to the kitchen, and gathering up my meds to head to the couch. It hurts me to leave her hanging like that, but we both agree that air is more important than dialogue.

Last night, she noticed it immediately after dinner, but I was still skeptical because we ate a bit earlier than normal. I woke up to the typical “caked on” feeling in the front of my lungs [Read more…]

Still Compliant, Still Gaining Weight

20_47-BMIAs quite a few of you on Twitter and Facebook are aware, I had another intestinal scare on Thursday. You see, Beautiful wrote about enzymes on Wednesday and every time she or I write about anything to do with blockages, something happens. Without fail. It’s really quite creepy and must stop this time. I’ll get to my lungs and weight soon, but first, it’s story time.

Thursday morning

I woke up feeling out of sorts and shrugged her off and indicated that I wasn’t feeling well when she came to wake me up on Thursday. I got up around 8:30 and started my treatments, but was feeling sore and crampy, only it wasn’t in the usual blockage area indicated from my long history of blockages. Like a seasoned veteran, I weighed the pros and cons of having an omelet for breakfast and just went for it with plenty of enzymes.

I got upstairs to start work around 10:00 and was more or less completely unable to concentrate. The cramps were coming in waves and in harder and harder force, but I can tell the difference between a resistance cramp and an uncomfortable cramp. These were the latter, no nasty, tight ball of crap anywhere to be found by exploratory pushing of my squishies. Sore, yes, but I didn’t have the tell-tale knot of disaster. Beautiful went back downstairs seeing my clear distress and got me a 20oz Gatorade and an extra Dulcolax to hydrate and flush anything that was in there.

Thursday afternoon

I was feeling better by dinnertime and insisted on eating despite Beautiful’s firm reminder that I “felt fine” before our Outback dinner for my birthday 2 years ago. [Read more…]