The daily quest to gain weight

What CFers Do: Wait for Antibiotics

This entry is part 15 of 19 in the series What CFers Do

VancomycinTwo Fridays ago at my ENT visit, he faxed an order for vancomycin for me to start using with my PARI Sinus nebulizer to vibrate around up in my sinuses to see if that melts away the green monster that is living in my head.

I’m still waiting for said antibiotics.

By Wednesday morning, I called to see when I could expect the shipment, and they said that shipment wasn’t scheduled, so I said I’d like it by Friday. Thursday, I got a call from them saying that my insurance would only let one specialty pharmacy send it to me: their own pharmacy. I waited for that call for delivery. Friday, I called them. They didn’t have the order ready because it took him 5 minutes of me listening to him breathe like a prank call pervert to find the fax from the other pharmacy to tell me that they would have to get approval from the insurance to be able to schedule delivery.

Today… I’m not holding my breath. I’ll be calling them at 2pm – after the lunch rush – to poke them with a cattle prod.

What CFers Do: Throw Free Drugs Around at Church

This entry is part 14 of 19 in the series What CFers Do

BlushingSinging this Sunday got my sinuses literally abuzz and triggered a Montezuma’s frontal sinus headache by the time we were done with 3 songs. When the 4th and final song was over, the only thing on my mind was to crack open my pill bottle and extract one of my two Vicodin ES pills to find sweet relief. Things didn’t go as planned. Follow along and laugh at my folly and feel free to share your most embarrassing¬†pill story in the comments. I won’t make fun of you… too badly.

Here’s what happened:

I got a Nalgene bottle for my college graduation, so I like to bring that to chug on my sweet tea or Gatorade to keep hydrated and avoid any coughing fits that can occur in any 75 minute span. Using an order of events that I’d like to have a mulligan for, I placed the (closed) bottle on my right leg, propped up by my left foot, which was crossed over my right knee. As I popped the cap off my pill bottle, the Nalgene bottle started to slip off to the right to come crashing down.

Pause.

My pill bottle is a regular, small pharmacy bottle filled with about 20-25 Zenpep, 10 Xanax, 1 Soma, and 2 Vicodin – yes, well over 30 pills.

Unpause.

As the Nalgene started to go, my cobra-like reflexes sent my right hand over to block its decent to earth. Unfortunately, that was also the hand that was holding my now open pill bottle. I saw a slow-motion director’s cut of all of my pills flying out as if they were buck shot from a 12-gauge, flying toward our youth minister and a Sunday school teacher a full 10 feet away on the other side of the isle.

This wouldn’t have been too terrible, except the pastor had just started his intro and he had a clear line of sight at my blunder, and at least half of the pills ended up under said people’s seats… so there we were, me and my bro-in-law’s girlfriend on our knees scooping them up as fast as we could and the other two guys leaned over picking them up from under their seats. Without calling HazMat, we got them all back in my bottle and got seated again. About 30 seconds later, another Xanax was discovered and returned to me.

I was sooo red that I could feel my heartbeat in my cheeks and forehead. If I didn’t need the Vicodin so badly, I would have switched plans and popped a Xanax instead.

So, remember, kids. Don’t do drugs at church… at least after the sermon starts.

What CFers Do: Put Doctors and Pharmacies on Speed-dial

This entry is part 12 of 19 in the series What CFers Do

Speed-DialYou know that you have issues if your clinic, PCP office, and 3 pharmacies are on your speed-dial on your cell phone. Personally, my iPhone has the following:

  • my PCP office
  • my clinic 800 number
  • my CF coordinator’s cell phone
  • my local Walgreens at the corner
  • my Publix pharmacy where we buy groceries
  • my mail-order specialty pharmacy

I might as well add my Aetna customer service number to that list, but I would have to have my card out to give them my ID number anyway. It’s things like this that make me feel like a secret freak, but at least no one knows this sort of thing unless they thumb through my phone or read this entry. You know that if an EMT ever found me on the ground at the mall and got to my phone, he’d know something was wrong with me. I’d at least be labeled as a hypochondriac at the least. I hope he’d be smart enough to see Wife Mobile and Wife Work at the top of my list and call her first.

What CFers Do: Get Mad About Losing Weight From a Cold

This entry is part 13 of 19 in the series What CFers Do

Soup for a ColdMy latest life event that describes what CFers do: I am mad about losing weight from what I think was just a cold! CFers, unite in common disgust.

I know it’s been quiet on on here for a week, but my life has been anything but quiet. Beautiful’s allergies grew into an infection and I either got her bug or caught a cold on my own by coincidence. I don’t handle stress very well, either, and our last 3 weeks have been full of stress. We are very blessed to have a strong marriage, because it’s been a very trying time, not for our relationship, but this sort of stuff is what pulls couples apart. We grew closer.

So, the last you heard from me, I had hit a clinic all-time high weight of 132lbs and could barely give them a sample for the sputum culture because I didn’t really have any to bring up. I managed a little dot for the RT and we sent it away for cultures, which take forever when my sample is that small. We only had the preliminary results last Friday when I e-mailed Sue.

Starting the very next day, I woke up with a completely blocked nose, coughing and gagging from mucus, and started a 5-day off and on fever, but strangely never ran a temperature; my body simply lost temperature regulation for some reason.

I also lost an interest in food. Completely. Then, when I was better, my stomach had shrunk back to pre-vacation size so I was no longer able to eat a full meal when I did eat. I am trying my best to stretch it out again, but Saturday’s weigh in flashed a 122 back at me! Ten pounds lost in a few days!

I’m hoping it’s mostly dehydration, because I don’t look any different.