For those of you who don’t notice or subscribe to the normal “holiday” of April Fool’s Day, that’s when this was written and what it was written for. It is so far over the top, if you’re not laughing your head off, there is something wrong and you should go get it checked out. Enjoy!

I’m back home already from this morning’s bionic lung transplant! Wow, these new lungs are AMAZING!! Since they basically are ventilators, they didn’t need to put me on a vent or anything when I came out, so recovery was just a matter of hours. Also, without having a lot of foreign tissue taking up a lot of space, they said the swelling they expect didn’t require putting in drainage tubes, so they sent me home after I could eat a meal and go to the bathroom.

I highly recommend bionic lungs! Here are a few things I’ve noticed or done since I woke up:

• I can sing the National Anthem in one breath.
• There is a certain face I can make that causes the lungs to sound off like humpback whales.
• When I jump up and down, they make a cartoon-like “boingy-boingy-boingy” noise.
• Running all the way home from the hospital was very exhilarating, especially with all of the construction.
• My vision is suddenly 20/20.
• My farts smell like roses.

Excuse me, but I’m going to go list all of my equipment on eBay now.

For those of you who don’t notice or subscribe to the normal “holiday” of April Fool’s Day, that’s when this was written and what it was written for. It is so far over the top, if you’re not laughing your head off, there is something wrong and you should go get it checked out. Enjoy!

Thursday ended with a huge bang with a call from my CF center to come in at 4am for an opportunity to be one of the first CF patients to receive bionic lungs! It’s been something I’ve thought about since the old movie “The Six Million Dollar Man” reruns back in the 80s. I’ve gone back and forth between wanting bionic lungs and lungs harvested from some sort of genetic clone of myself (like in Steven Cook’s “Chromosome 6“), only with healthy lungs, from something like a fast-growing monkey or pig that would eliminate the need for anti-rejection drugs. That’s what we’re all concerned about one way or another with a lung transplant anyway: rejection of the donor tissue or getting sick from a suppressed immune system.

They’ve been working on materials to coat implants of this size to avoid the body from attacking it as a foreign object and have finally figured it out. It’s coated with a polymer that mimics normal organ fascia. They discovered that fascia isn’t recognized by the immune system, only actual organs, so once encased in this polymer, it remains invisible to the immune system and it’s only connected to the body with proven materials used in stent and defibrillator surgeries.

The plan is to remove my lungs only after they test the system outside of my body, just in case there is an issue. That’s the beauty of this technique because they can hook it up with extra tubing for my circulatory system and pump room air into them, all from a table next to me, and only remove my lungs after everything checks out.

The super-cool thing is that the bionic lungs are 1/5 the size of natural lungs, so they are going to pack my body with a combination of bio-friendly styrofoam and expanding foam insulation [Read more…]