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Just As Things Go Up, They Also Go Down

ThermometerMost of you know that starting on February 1st, Beautiful started working from home with me. Things were really tight because February absolutely sucked on the income front. We had to take out of savings to pay our obligations and I was feeling like a one-income failure, mainly because January rocked so hard that I was sure we could do this on one income.


March started out okay, but just okay. Beautiful was still quite concerned about how it was going to work because it wasn’t going to just be enough to make our bills for the month, we also needed to put money back into savings. We had a $3,000 hospital bill  (for our annual out-of-pocket max) from my surgery to pay and both taxes for 2010 and our 1st quarter estimated taxes were looming. This is why a $1,000 emergency fund is laughable for us – we really need to be on top of things to not sink, and she does an absolutely fabulous job keeping us afloat. She is succeeding where I failed for many years. She is my better half.

We started getting testy with each other because we were both stressing out, and I was beginning to consider her working part-time to create a buffer just to reduce the stress, even if we didn’t need the money from here on out. I was really torn because her allergies would make most jobs so difficult, she’d be more tired because just the housework is a fair amount of labor, and all of that would be risking having the same thing: a stressed and cranky wife. It would be a method of last resort.

After our 2nd or 3rd week of having a tense lunch, we finally worked it all out. The issue for me was that she was bringing it up at almost every meal. Sometimes we were spending precious work time just endlessly discussing our situation and never doing anything to improve it. That is a big red flag to anyone who is doing it. Stop it and start looking for ways to actually make things better. Here is how we did it.

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Figuring Stuff Out

ThinkingI’ve had a lot on my mind since Sunday thinking about how CF has affected my life. It’s undeniable that it has touched every area possible: personality, geographic location, health, faith, status, and career. All in all, it’s been a very good week of mulling over these thoughts for such a profound amount of time compared to fleeting thoughts that bombard me every hour. Here’s what I’ve come up with this week.


I’m not quite clear what sort of person I’d be if I wasn’t kept in check with my own “thorn in the flesh” that places limits and constant reminders of them into my daily routine. I have a suspicion that I’d be a pompous, overly confident piece of work. Even as it is now, I swing wildly from being a cocky, self-centered jerk all the way to being a depressing, insecure weirdo. [Read more…]